i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
