I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
