Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
