8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
