i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
