I need help removing her.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I had to cum in my sink.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
