As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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