Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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