The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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