can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize