If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I wish you could order shots online.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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