I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
