chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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