and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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