I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
