We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
