Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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