Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
