Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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