sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
