My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Just cropdusted the office
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
