barbara walters just said penis...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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