Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
its not stalking. its research.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Randomize
