You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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