Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
