I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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