You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
He did a backflip because drugs
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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