butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
