My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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