Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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