blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
