did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
