Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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