I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
