I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
