am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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