My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
