Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
