We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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