Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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