i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
