i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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