I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
