So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
