Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
