You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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