I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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