im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
even my farts smell like vagina
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
