hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
