Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
