I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
