Porn is love you can see.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
