People in love make me want to vomit
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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