Do you still have your period?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
